at some point soon we end up with aging fogeys. And with that comes a complete array of issues we want to deal with. We'll probably need to provide some form of help on a consistent basis, whether we live nearby or not. It might be finding them a housekeeper, or ensuring they get to doctor appointments punctually.
Often it gets to the point that much more than transient and occasional help is necessary. If your parent has a terminal or progressive condition that mandates round the clock care, what options are available? To everyone involved? What if you are an only child, or the sole child in the family who can offer this type of help?
Blood could be thicker than water, but not all kids are willing or ready to step up and provide this level of care. If you are married with your own family, this also has to be considered. Your entire family needs to be on board with this concept. Even with one dissenter, there will be heavy issues. Yes, it is true : not everyone always wants grandma to move in. Your children may not want to give up their family room to change it into a bedroom.
Will the family all have responsibilities? No one can be there all day 24x7. Not everyone wants to readjust their life permanently if it implies a major sacrifice.
Besides the major issue of having somebody move in, what are some of the other concerns to be conscious of and discussed? Is she bedridden? Does she have convulsions, need special medicine, special food, or help getting to the bathroom? What if she's's incontinent? Who changes her and the sheets?
Everyone needs to be on the same page here. Even though it's your parent, you can't possibly be predicted to be there twenty-four hours per day. You need help. Will your other half help you? Usually, other halves have enough to do. They do not want the extra burden of caring for someone else. When someone gets to the point that they are unable to live by themselves, this is a huge amount of work when they move in. Cooking, cleaning, medicines, showering, and even the extra cost can be more than some families can deal with.
Be proactive. Long before your mum and dad reach old age, have honest dialogue about what they expect and how these expectations might be met. They'd just presume that their kids will take care of them when the time comes, irrespective of what. It could be a shock and disgruntlement to learn that other alternatives could need to be debated when the time comes.
Often it gets to the point that much more than transient and occasional help is necessary. If your parent has a terminal or progressive condition that mandates round the clock care, what options are available? To everyone involved? What if you are an only child, or the sole child in the family who can offer this type of help?
Blood could be thicker than water, but not all kids are willing or ready to step up and provide this level of care. If you are married with your own family, this also has to be considered. Your entire family needs to be on board with this concept. Even with one dissenter, there will be heavy issues. Yes, it is true : not everyone always wants grandma to move in. Your children may not want to give up their family room to change it into a bedroom.
Will the family all have responsibilities? No one can be there all day 24x7. Not everyone wants to readjust their life permanently if it implies a major sacrifice.
Besides the major issue of having somebody move in, what are some of the other concerns to be conscious of and discussed? Is she bedridden? Does she have convulsions, need special medicine, special food, or help getting to the bathroom? What if she's's incontinent? Who changes her and the sheets?
Everyone needs to be on the same page here. Even though it's your parent, you can't possibly be predicted to be there twenty-four hours per day. You need help. Will your other half help you? Usually, other halves have enough to do. They do not want the extra burden of caring for someone else. When someone gets to the point that they are unable to live by themselves, this is a huge amount of work when they move in. Cooking, cleaning, medicines, showering, and even the extra cost can be more than some families can deal with.
Be proactive. Long before your mum and dad reach old age, have honest dialogue about what they expect and how these expectations might be met. They'd just presume that their kids will take care of them when the time comes, irrespective of what. It could be a shock and disgruntlement to learn that other alternatives could need to be debated when the time comes.
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